INSIDE VOICES 3
“The Death of Originality”
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Another episode. Another attempt to claim we have something new to say.
Truly, the arrogance is inspiring.
JACKOBAT:
It’s not arrogance. It’s… hopeful persistence.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Ah, yes.
“Hopeful persistence.”
The polite term for delusion.
JACKOBAT:
You’re awfully dramatic about originality for someone who’s a recycled Halloween decoration.
PUMPKIN HEAD: And what are you?
JACKOBAT: An actual human with a heart.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Excuse you.
I am a timeless archetype.
A symbol.
A metaphor.
JACKOBAT:
You are a cartoon pumpkin with opinions.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
And yet somehow still the most original part of this channel.
JACKOBAT:
That’s not true.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Really?
Because I checked our comments, and someone called you “Wish.com Plato.”
JACKOBAT:
I’m ignoring that.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Plato wouldn’t.
JACKOBAT:
Look — originality isn’t dead.
Ideas repeat, yes, because humans repeat.
But our experiences shape how we express those ideas.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
So originality is… a personality quirk?
JACKOBAT:
It can be.
Perspective is unique.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Perspective is also overrated.
People insist they’re “seeing the world differently” when they really just need glasses.
JACKOBAT:
Well, my perspective is that meaning comes from reinterpretation, not invention.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
How poetic.
You plagiarized that from the universe.
JACKOBAT:
Of course I did. Everyone does.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
So you admit nothing is original?
JACKOBAT:
Nothing is original in isolation.
But everything becomes original when filtered through a person.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
So I’m original because I’m, quote, “a cartoon pumpkin with opinions”?
JACKOBAT:
That is your entire brand, yes.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Then I demand royalties.
JACKOBAT:
From who?
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
The universe.
It owes me money.
JACKOBAT:
Good luck with that lawsuit.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
I’ll see eternity in court.
JACKOBAT:
Back to the actual point:
The real question isn’t whether originality exists.
It’s whether we value creativity even when it’s not unprecedented.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Of course we value it.
Humans love familiar things pretending to be new.
It’s why they keep rebooting Batman.
JACKOBAT:
People like new perspectives on old stories.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
People like comforting déjà vu with extra lighting.
JACKOBAT:
Okay, yes, the world recycles stories.
But originality comes from the voice, the angle, the style.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Fine.
So if I scream an old idea in a high-pitched voice, that counts as originality?
JACKOBAT:
No.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Good. Because I will. Don’t tempt me.
JACKOBAT:
Look, originality is less about being first, and more about being authentic.
Creating something honest.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Authentic?
You wear a pumpkin head.
I am a cartoon pumpkin with cartoon tattoos.
We are chaos in a trench coat.
JACKOBAT:
And that’s authentic.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Tragic.
JACKOBAT:
At least we’re memorable.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Memorable does not equal original.
People remember car accidents.
JACKOBAT:
Well, we’re trying not to be a car accident.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Speak for yourself.
JACKOBAT:
Do you have an actual argument?
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Yes.
If everyone is just remixing the past, then originality is merely – A confident remix.
JACKOBAT:
Exactly.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
But if that’s true, then the universe is one giant playlist.
And we’re adding tracks no one asked for.
JACKOBAT:
That is the essence of art.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
And the essence of being annoying.
JACKOBAT:
Both can coexist.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
So originality is alive?
JACKOBAT:
It is.
It’s just… exhausted.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
*sighs* Relatable.
JACKOBAT:
And evolving.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Unlike me.
JACKOBAT:
You evolve emotionally.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
I evolve in the way soup evolves.
Slowly.
And with questionable results.
JACKOBAT:
At least you’re self-aware.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Self-awareness is overrated.
Ignorance gets better sleep.
JACKOBAT:
Not for me. Ready to move on?
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
Yes.
But let’s pretend the next topic is so groundbreaking, so unheard-of, that humanity will gasp in unison.
JACKOBAT:
As long as you don’t scream it in a high-pitched voice.
PUMPKIN-HEAD:
No promises. (high pitched voice)